Failing as Teachers

Friday morning a young 14 year old boy took his own life. The root of the problem was bullying. As I read the article, I couldn't help but feel that as teachers we need to do more. My school is starting to implement a bullying policy, and I have witnessed many schools doing the same. This a great top down approach for the administration to lend a hand, but I also think there needs to be a ground up approach that can join in the middle. On the ground needs to be students caring for students. The truth of the matter is, kids do not care for each other if not led to. It is part of our responsibility as teachers to teach children how to care for each other. I see enough in 2nd grade alone that reveals just how self-focused we naturally are.
I teach in a very rural district and driving home today I was looking at the carved out hillside that gave space for the road I was on. To the my left was an edge that led down to the river, and to my right was the rock facade that had a few scattered trees. I traced along the line of the road thinking again about this young boy. As my mind scattered around thoughts of the family and friends, I caught sight of a large stone from an old rock slide. Holding up the large stone is a small tree piercing out from the side of the hill. As I looked at that scene in my quick passing, the weight of this matter of bullying became much more clear for me. That single solitary tree is a picture of this 14 year old boy. It is also a picture of hundreds, maybe even thousands of kids across our country who daily face ridicule, abuse, and loneliness. The large rock is the weight of bullying. Day after day so many kids are stuck in a situation where they just try to survive and get through.
As teachers this is where we must step into the scene. We need to focus on easing the pressure by removing the strength of the oppressing. We do this by creating classrooms that are inviting and accepting. We also do it by being active in the lives of our students. As Yogi Berra said, "You can observe a lot just by watching." As a teacher, I strive to make at least one meaningful conversation with my each of my students everyday about their lives. It could be one minute about their morning, what they did last night, how they are getting along with their siblings, etc. Try it out, and you will be surprise how much a kid will reveal about themselves. From here you have laid the foundation for respect and rapport. You have also gained access into motivations, strengths, weaknesses, and fears.
As teachers we also need to focus on strengthening those being picked on. It is a little known fact that all kids want to be liked and known in some sense. Your job know may be helping that child connect with others. Getting them connected is most easily done by finding the least common denominator, I mean interest, between that child and one other. Facilitate the relationship by making it about all three people, then slowly step off the scene as the students connect. Your goal is to connect kids to kids by teaching them to make quality relationship choices, and the job is never over. I facilitate relationships with my old students in 3rd and 4th grade still. I only have access now because of the ground that was laid when they were my students.
There are so many great things being done by teachers all over the country to battle bullying. My focus this year has been a large dose (may even a bit too much) of kindness. My students from day one have been mastering the art of complimenting each other. For the first couple of days, this was done by finding a matching playing card and complimenting them. After that, we moved to a few weeks of free choice compliments. This period was filled with, "I like your shoes, etc." Getting kids to think about others was the goal. Last week we made a major shift. We now created, "Compliment Central" which is a large pocket chart with a name card of everyone in the class (including teacher aides). Now the students have been asked to write out their compliments, and they can no longer compliment about material items. It was amazing to watch them work. Last week that pocket chart was like a bee hive with little workers eager to do a good job. The kids were begging all week to take their cards, but I have them wait until the end of the day on Friday. With excitement they all snatched up their cards on Friday and big smiles were all over the room as kids cared for each other. When students all filled up with kindness there is little room left for being hurtful.
How do you teach your students to take care of each other? Please share your great ideas.